Monthly Archives: February 2014

Hiring Help: What Happens When You Work With a Life Coach?

If you’ve ever wondered whether you should hire someone to help you with your career transition, you may also have wondered what kind of help to get.  In this post, Deb Elbaum, a Boston-area life coach, explains how coaching differs from career counseling and therapy, and how one style of coaching – Co-Active Coaching – works in detail.

What’s your dream?  Whether you are a lawyer or other professional, there might come a time when you are ready to explore “What’s next?” You might crave an entirely new job or career that fills your days with more meaning and fun, for example, or you might desire more balance in your life. To help find the right path, many people work with a professional such as a career counselor, therapist, or coach. All of these professionals can provide support during a transition—and one or another can be useful at different times in the journey—yet their focus and approach usually differ. In general, career counselors help people define their strengths and interests to find a career path that’s a good fit. Therapists are especially skilled at helping people understand and resolve past and current issues that keep them stuck or dissatisfied. In contrast, life coaches—Co-Active Coaches, in particular—begin with where people are and focus on what they want to create going forward.

If you choose to work with a Co-Active Cdebelbaumoach to help you through your transition, you’ll likely encounter these questions—known as “Powerful Questions”—among those your coach will ask:

1. What do you truly want? – This is the time to dream big and imagine where you want to be in one year, or even five years. Imagine the impact that you want to have on others, your family, the environment, or the world.

2. What matters most to you? – This question helps you clarify what matters most to you — which values you are currently honoring in your life, and which values need to be honored more. When people are clear on what deeply matters most to them, taking a next step flows much easier.

3. What’s another way you could relate to this topic (for example, a job search)? – Looking at a topic through different lenses changes how you feel about that topic. Imagine, for instance, what it would be like to approach a job search as a chore such as cleaning a bathroom. Then imagine what it would be like to approach a job search as a treasure hunt with a certain promise of gold. How are they different?

4. What obstacles do you put in your way? – We all encounter obstacles that keep us from exploring or trying something new. We might come up with stories about why we can’t do something, for instance. Coaching will help you identify the obstacles holding you back and maneuver over or around them.

5. What will you do, when will you do it, and how will your coach know? – In coaching, you will keep your learning moving forward from one session to the next by pondering a question or taking action between sessions. You and your coach will agree on what you will do, your timeline for completing it, and how you will be held accountable.

Whomever you choose to work with—coach, therapist, career counselor, or other professional—be sure to bring your openness, curiosity, and motivation to the process. And keep an eye out for your treasure.

Readers, have you ever worked with a coach? What did you learn from the process?

Deb Elbaum, M.D. received her training as a Co-Active Coach from the Coaches Training Institute. She is also a Founding Fellow at the Institute of Coaching, a non-profit organization supporting research on coaching. She loves coaching individuals who are exploring “What’s next?” You can connect with her at deb@debelbaum.com or http://www.debelbaum.com.

1 Comment

Filed under Other, Transition Issues

Reinvention: Do More of What You Love, Discover More of Who You Are

Paul E  Kandarian (2)Yesterday, a Boston Globe writer named Paul Kandarian profiled me in connection with the She Did It/Boston Conference, coming up on March 24 (get your tickets here!), where I’m moderating a panel on career reinvention for women over 50.  When I thanked him, Paul responded with a wonderful note about his own reinvigoration, underscoring the transformative power of doing more of what you love without knowing in advance where it will lead.  With his permission, I’m reprinting his note here:

After talking to you I realized how much I fall into the realm of which you speak. I’m 60, and have been a writer for 33 years, doing 15 years at a daily paper and since then, solely working as a freelance writer/photographer, embracing the uncertainty and magic of it in equal, energizing doses. But in the last 10 or so years, I’ve really found myself, as it were: I got into acting seven years ago and find it the most freeing experience of my life, giving me a level of self-fulfillment that continues to surprise and delight. And I’ve also gotten more into travel writing, a lot, and find myself winging around the world to write about exotic places.

These just happened by seeming accident, but when I really think about it, it was more about unwittingly designing my own life, as I think we all do, we’re all in charge of our own destiny, our own life’s design. I’d long wanted to act, just never had the courage to do it, but when I did, it opened a door for me that was incredible and incredibly unexpected in how it satisfies, and continues to feed a long-held yearning. And I’ve always loved to travel (I was a flight attendant in my 20s, believe it or not), so combining my writing ability with the hungering ache to travel was a perfect fit, and one that again, seemingly just happened but was most likely the result of my subconscious design.

I guess that’s the long version of confirming what you advise others, to find what it is inside you that you may not even know is there, and capturing its ability to fulfill, to satisfy, using the skills you already have. I do many things I find satisfying in my life, but the recent acting bug completes that in an way I’d never imagined. I shouldn’t say complete; life is not complete until you draw your last breath, it’s ongoing, changing, morphing into forms that bring much of why we’re here into crystal perspective.

Anyway, thanks for thanking me, but thanks mostly for realizing what we all have in us and guiding others into recognizing how to best bring that out. There is so much untapped human potential in all of us, I’m happy you’re showing folks the way!

Readers, do you know anyone who is trying to reinvent themselves later in their careers – say, 50 and up?  What challenges are they (you?) dealing with?  What helps?

Comments Off on Reinvention: Do More of What You Love, Discover More of Who You Are

Filed under Other